


carefully you came to me (ever so gently)

by endlesspossibilities



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4137201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlesspossibilities/pseuds/endlesspossibilities
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raven doesn't really like love. She tried it once and everything went to shit, so that was enough. She does like Octavia though, and maybe that's the same thing.</p><p>OR, the time Raven slept with Bellamy and met her best friend (soul mate).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In other words, put some clothes on and call me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series of shots all set in order in this universe, but will jump to important moments in their relationship.

Octavia knows she should have called her brother to give him some kind of a warning, but it had been a really last minute deal. A couple of her friends offered her a ride since they were headed to the college anyways, and really she hates to miss anytime she can surprise her big brother, Bellamy. Which is why she’s currently searching for the spare key under a plant, very discrete, and letting herself in. There’s no way Bell would be up at nine on a Saturday anyways.  
  
As she makes her way into the apartment, she notices she’s right since there are no sounds of him yet. She glances through his cabinets hoping to at least find some dry cereal to snack on. They didn’t want to stop for breakfast earlier, much to O’s disappointment.  
  
Octavia has just settled into the bar stool at the counter to eat some Captain Crunch, her and Bellamy’s favorite as kids, when she hears his door open. She pops her head up with a smile, but instead of being met with her disheveled brother, she instead sees a brunette haired beauty, tugging on her leather jacket and carrying some boots. They make eye contact for a second before Octavia finds her voice,  
  
“Oh,”  
  
“Hi. Um, who are you?” the girl shifts from foot to foot nervously and it draws Octavia’s eye to the brace on her leg.  
  
“Octavia. I’m Bellamy’s little sister. Are you, like, his girlfriend?” O’s eyebrows furrow as she tries to think back to their recent conversation about Bell’s college life.  
  
“Ha! No. I’m just dumb and a little hungover and I was just gonna sneak out,” the woman laughs and shakes her head with a point to the door.  
  
“Oh. You’re a one-night stand. Don’t worry I’m a senior in high school, I can handle the idea of my brother having sex,” O brushes off the look of concern on Bell’s guest’s face.  
  
“I’m Raven, by the way, and I’m sorry if I made your visit extremely awkward,” Raven introduces herself.  
  
“No! You’re fine. Do you want some breakfast? I know Bell doesn’t have much here, but I can probably scrounge up something. And there’s coffee,” Octavia jumps up and starts bustling around the kitchen.  
  
“Captain Crunch, huh?” Raven laughs and grabs the bowl. She sits down at Octavia’s previously occupied bar stool and starts crunching on the cereal. Octavia blushes at her childish pick, but shrugs with a small grin.  
  
“Reminds me of simpler times.” Raven nods as she listens to the younger girl speak. She also takes in her appearance, noting how she’s like Bellamy and how she’s so not.  
  
“I guess I would like some coffee,” Raven notes as soon as she smells the brew.  
  
“How do you like it?” Octavia pours out two mugs of the dark liquid.  
  
“Just sugar, no cream,” Raven lets her know while leaning onto her elbows and resting her chin on her fists. Octavia fixes their coffees and then sits down opposite Raven.  
  
“So what year are you?”  
  
“Sophomore, same as your brother. Are you looking to go here next year?” Raven asks casually.  
  
“Yes! I actually already got in and I’ve been working on building up my scholarships,” Octavia beams. Raven smiles at the bright-eyed enthusiasm, finding it extremely cute.  
  
“That’s great. I do a work-study program, mechanic and mechanical engineer,” Raven waves her hand with a chuckle. The two women sit around the counter for about thirty minutes, chatting, sipping coffee, and sharing the bowl of cereal. They both quickly feel completely comfortable with each other and the awkward silences begin to fill with laughter and teasing. Eventually, their conversation awakens the sleeping man in the next room and he stumbles into the living area looking both tired and confused.  
  
“Oh, hey there Bellamy. Turns out I hooked up with the wrong Blake,” Raven turns around with a smirk. Octavia jumps up and hurries around the counter to hug her older brother.  
  
“Tavia? What are you doing here?” Bell squeezes her back and plants a kiss to the side of her head. The two Blake siblings had always been very close and Bellamy going off to college was rough for them both.  
  
“Surprise! Got here an hour ago,” Octavia steps back with a smile.  
  
“Alright, well I don’t want to intrude on family time. It was really nice to meet you, Octavia. I hope to see you later,” Raven gets up and begins dismissing herself. She backs toward the door, but Octavia doesn’t hesitate to stride over and pull the older girl into a hug.  
  
“You definitely will. Bye, Raven,” Octavia smiles and Bellamy waves from behind her. As Raven walks down the street back to her own apartment, she smiles at the morning she just had.


	2. 'til morning comes, let's tesselate

It was probably a month since Raven hooked up with Bellamy and met his little sister, Octavia. She sees him occasionally around campus, especially since a few unfortunate events have led to her friendship with Clarke Griffin and those two were close. Which is how she ended up at this house party sipping warm beer and trying to avoid all the fuck boys. Clarke is predictably playing beer pong and rocking it while Monty and Jasper are working the crowd. Raven is dancing to some terrible dubstep music when she spots her along the edge of the crowded room. She makes her way over to the slightly nervous looking girl with a smile,  
  
“Octavia! Hey, girl.”  
  
The high schooler looks majorly relieved to see someone she recognizes and immediately brightens up,  
  
“Raven, I’m so glad to see you. There are a lot of people here,” Octavia’s hand darts out to steady Raven when some dude bumps into her from behind.  
  
“Did your douche of a brother bring you to this shit hole?” Raven looks genuinely concerned for a second, but Octavia shakes her head slightly.  
  
“No, I kind of crashed in and didn’t give him a choice. Once I found out where it was I told him I was going with or without him. I’m no stranger to parties, I’m just used to knowing a most of the people at them…” Octavia explains.  
  
“Well I don’t see him around right now, so I’m still going to pretend like it’s his fault,” Raven shrugs with a crooked grin. She wasn’t surprised to hear that Octavia went to parties considering her brother was party animal number one.  
  
“So what are you doing?” Octavia gestures to the party.  
  
“Um, partying. Come on, Blake, use that college-bound brain of yours,” Raven rolls her eyes at the younger girl. The younger girl laughs in return and then pops her head up when the song in the background changes,  
  
“Wait. Are they actually playing good music right now?” Raven doesn’t know the song that’s playing, but she notices it’s way better than the mess they had been listening to before.  
  
“Okay, we’re dancing. Come on,” Octavia grabs Raven’s arm and drags her into the middle of the mock dance floor. She immediately begins to move her body to the beat and Raven tries not to notice the way her hips move, but, damn, she’s only human. After a few seconds, the dancing woman notices that Raven hasn’t joined in yet and purposefully plants her hands on Raven’s hips and begins moving them in time to the song.  
  
“Okay okay, I’m latina I know how to dance,” Raven raises her eyebrows and begins to prove her point. Octavia nods her head in approval and then continues to get lost in the music. The two girls dance well past the end of the song, each trying to one-up the other and drawing a crowd of admirers. Neither really notices though, too caught up in each other to care about some drunk college students.  
  
When Raven’s leg finally begins to tire too much to continue, she makes her way to the kitchen to hop up onto the counter and find a cool drink. Octavia follows behind her and grabs a beer from the cooler. She offers one to Raven who declines and asks for a water instead.  
  
“Not feeling the cheap beer, tonight?” Octavia asks curiously.  
  
“I already had my one for the night,” Raven explains and receives a confused expression in return.  
  
“My mom was an alcoholic, so I don’t really do the whole drunk thing,” Raven says with a shrug.  
  
“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t know…” Octavia stares down at the beer in her hand and suddenly feels less inclined to drink it.  
  
“Not a big deal. Just a piece of my past,” Raven gives a sad smile that hugely contrasts her expression just minutes before.  
  
“You know, I’ve been having a lot of fun without this anyways,” the younger brunette throws the still unopened beer back into the cooler. She hops up next to Raven and nudges her shoulder with her own,  
  
“You’ve got some pretty sick moves, Reyes.”  
  
“You’re not bad yourself, Blake. Definitely better than your brother,” Raven admits and her smile turns genuine again.  
  
“I like to think I’m better than my brother in all aspects, or at least the important ones,” Octavia wiggles her eyebrows suggestively trying to draw a laugh out of her new friend.  
  
“I bet you do,” Raven laughs and punches her shoulder. Bellamy walks in just a few seconds later,  
  
“Speak of the devil.”  
  
“Tavia, what have I told you about fraternizing with the past conquests,” Bell shakes his head with a grin.  
  
“Bellamy, I know you’re Octavia’s older brother, but if you call me a conquest again I will end you,” Raven threatens and despite her petite size and brace, she’s extremely intimidating. Octavia can’t help but admire how the older woman radiates strength as she speaks.  
  
“I think I can take you,” Bell jokes along.  
  
“Even if that is true, don’t forget I know about a hundred ways to make your precious car go boom,” Raven lifts an eyebrow and Bellamy raises his hands in defeat.  
  
“Besides, if anyone’s the conquest here, it’s definitely you,” Raven receives a high five from Octavia for that one and Bell feigns hurt,  
  
“Octavia, where’s the loyalty?”  
  
“Sorry, bro. I just like Raven better,” O smiles.  
  
“Wow. I guess I’ll just leave, then. I hope your new favorite can give you a ride home,” There’s a light in his eyes that tell Raven he totally loves this and his sassy younger sister. It makes Raven long for that feeling of familiarity, but the only person she ever had that with turned out to be a jerk and now she’s just alone.  
  
“I’m kidding! Probably, unless Raven’s cool with that?” Octavia laughs and looks over at the dark haired girl.  
  
“Of course, or you can crash at my place,” Raven shrugs.  
  
“Sweet! See ya, Bell,” Octavia waves at him and he rolls his eyes before backing away.  
  
“Keep my little sis safe, ya hear,” He warns Raven and she nods in agreement. He didn’t have to tell her twice. There was a certain aura about Octavia that told Raven she was used to getting in over her head.  
  
“I can take care of myself,” Octavia replies, more to Raven than to Bellamy’s retreating back.  
  
“I’m sure you can, but I would prefer it if it didn’t even come to that,” Raven shrugs and then jumps down.  
  
“Come on, we’re going to find Jasper and see how much we can mess with him,” Raven holds out her hand for Octavia to grab as she follows. They find Jasper in the backyard, playing the air guitar, and looking intense. The pair manage to convince him he’s good enough for a record label, and then watch as he walks around telling everyone he was the next Bon Jovi. Clarke joins them at some point and is very excited to meet Bellamy’s little sister, who she’s heard so much about.  
  
“Believe everything you’ve been told,” Raven nods while Octavia gapes and shoves her gently.  
  
“Bull, believe nothing. I like to make my own first impression,” Octavia smirks playfully.  
  
“Well you’ve made quite a first impression on my friend here,” Clarke gestures towards Raven, who has an arm slung around the brunette’s shoulders.  
  
“Please, I made the good impression. This one has been following me around all night,” Raven teases.  
  
“Hey, that’s unfair. I knew no one,” Octavia defends herself, crossing her arms.  
  
“And yet, you’re here,” Raven smirks and Clarke notices how the two girls banter more like old friends than two people who have only met twice. She’s glad for anytime Raven seems genuinely carefree since she’d been having a tough time since Finn. The three spend another hour outside, before deciding it was an acceptable hour to split. Clarke promises to get Jasper home safe, and waves off Raven and Octavia in front of the house.  
  
“Hey, seriously though, thank you for tonight,” Octavia speaks up as they walk down the sidewalk. She fiddles with her fingers, a habit Raven had noticed earlier when she first saw her at the party. Raven can’t imagine why she would be nervous, though.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well you didn’t have to hang out with the high schooler all night, but you did and I’m really grateful,” Octavia shrugs.  
  
“Don’t be ridiculous, I wanted to. You may be in high school, but you’re way cooler than most those drunk idiots back there,” Raven bumps her shoulder against O’s and smiles, “If anything, thank you. Sometimes it’s hard being the only sober person at a party.”  
  
“How about this, as long as I’m at the party too, I promise you won’t be the only sober person,” Octavia offers. Raven almost stumbles looking at the completely sincere face Octavia is giving her. All her friends have always accepted her choice not to really drink, but this was something past that.  
  
“You don’t have to do that, Octavia,” Raven shakes her head.  
  
“Obviously, but I’m offering. We already proved we can have fun without drinking,” Octavia shrugs with a small smile. Her hands are back up and it makes Raven want to grab them in her own.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“Yeah… yeah. That sounds good, really good,” Raven tilts her head up and watches a plane pass overhead. She wonders about what model it is and then she looks past it towards the stars. She wonders about what it would be like to join them. Feeling the comforting heat of another body, she wonders about the young girl next to her who just understands everything.  
  
Walking along slowly, Octavia wonders what it would feel like to thread her fingers through those dark tresses.  
  
Neither girl speaks.


	3. Babe, there's something wretched about this; something so precious about this

Raven considers herself a pretty good friend. She might be an asshole and occasionally she makes a terrible (excellent) pun, but she’s fiercely loyal and always ready to help. Which is why it’s kind of surprising to her when Clarke throws a pillow at her face and scowls seriously,  
  
“Raven, you’re always on your phone. You could at least pretend to listen.”  
  
But then she thinks back and she didn’t have any idea what Clarke had been telling her for the past ten minutes. She never used to be this absorbed in her phone, but ever since Octavia gave her number to her she’s spent a lot of time texting her. She chalks that up to the fact that O isn’t here with her to see in person, but they Skype a few times a week and that’s about how much she sees Monty…  
  
“I’m sorry. Really. I got caught up, but I’m listening now,” Raven flips her phone over and turns to completely face Clarke.  
  
“I was telling you that I met someone…” Clarke bites her lip with a little grin.  
  
“No shit? That’s great. What’s he like?” Raven leans in with genuine interest and excitement for her best friend.  
  
“Actually, it’s Lexa.”  
  
“Your lab partner, Lexa? I thought you kind of hated her,” Raven gets confused, not even paying attention to the fact that Clarke just told her she liked a chick for the first time. That wasn’t what peaked her interest about this new crush.  
  
“I know, but she grows on you once you get past the tough exterior,” Clarke shrugs and that’s enough for Raven. A tough exterior is nothing compared to Clarke’s last love interest, er their last love interest.  
  
“What about you, Ray? I’ve obviously noticed your increased texting activity,” Clarke grins and pushes Raven a little bit.  
  
“It’s just Octavia,” the older woman rolls her eyes but feels her cheeks start to blush before she regains control again. Octavia is a great friend and nothing more.  
  
“Just Octavia, huh? What makes that a just?” Clarke pushes more, testing her limits.  
  
“She’s still in high school. She’s a little shit. I fucked her brother. I could go on,” Raven numbers off, but Clarke gets a feeling she can’t really go on. Raven was constantly on her phone with said high schooler and Clarke had walked into a number of Skype sessions in the months since that party. She might have only known Raven for a year, but she knows her well enough to see when she’s acting differently. The Raven she met wasn’t willing to get attached to anyone; at least, not like this.  
  
“So what are you guys talking about then?” Clarke snatches the still overturned phone from the bed and darts out of the room. Raven chases after, but hours spent together had taught Clarke the passcode and she is quickly into the messages.  
  
“I’m making myself a smoothie. Ooh make me one. Sure, just come on over with a winky face!” Clarke reads aloud from the other side of the bathroom door she’s locked herself in.  
  
“This is textbook flirting via text.”  
  
“As much as I appreciate that pun, give me my damn phone, Griffin!” Raven bangs her fist on the door. She knows that all the texts sound like that and it wasn’t really something she was trying to hide, but if Clarke migrates to her photos… That’s a different story. Octavia and her might have only hung out a few times in person, but Raven already has an album devoted to the mischievous younger girl.  
  
“Okay, okay. Here ya go,” Clarke unlocks the door and hands back the phone. Raven grabs it quickly before the blonde can change her mind.  
  
“Can we just drop this for now?” Raven huffs and walks back to her comfy spot on her bed. Clarke had come over to study about two hours ago, but it doesn’t feel like much studying has occurred yet.  
  
“Sure. I’m probably going to fail this Chemistry test tomorrow if we don’t,” Clarke shrugs and confirms Raven’s suspicion. As they settle back into their respective positions, Clarke still takes note that Raven pauses occasionally to smile at her phone and type back.  
  
“Just Octavia, my ass…” She mumbles after the engineering student pops in some headphones. 

~~~~Two Weeks Later~~~~

“Bellamy, I’m hungry,” Octavia whines from her spot on the couch. Her head is hanging off the edge and she’s giving her best puppy dog face.  
“Eat some ramen. It’ll prepare you for college,” Bellamy waves toward the kitchen and returns to his textbook.  
“I’m not in college yet. I refuse to act like I’m broke already,” Octavia huffs and crosses her arms. The whole look would be much more defiant if all the blood wasn’t rushing to her face.  
  
“I’m sorry, Tavia. I don’t have time to make you something or go out,” Bell sighs and runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it further. Octavia has tried to tell him to get a haircut, but honestly that made him less likely to do it. Octavia rights herself and then grabs her phone from the table and taps out a quick message. She waits a few minutes before getting a reply.  
  
“I’m going to get lunch with Raven and Clarke,” Octavia grins and starts putting on her shoes.  
  
“What? You can’t hang out with my friends without me,” Bellamy argues the idea, but O just rolls her eyes. Her older brother tends to forget that his friends are her friends too.  
  
“Of course I can. Or you could come with us, but since you said yourself that you’re too busy…” She waves a hand through the air dismissively.  
  
“I don’t know. I noticed that you’ve been talking to Raven a lot lately. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Bellamy’s overprotective side starts to appear and Octavia immediately bristles. She loves her brother, but ever since they were little kids he’s always been a bit to fatherly. She doesn’t want a father; she wants an older brother.  
  
“What do you mean? I can’t be friends with your friends or something?” Octavia’s stance turns defensive and Bellamy finds himself standing too.  
  
“I didn’t say that. I just want you to be careful. Raven is hot, smart and a smart-ass. I get it, but she’s my age,” Bellamy crosses his arms.  
  
“We’re just friends! A friend who is currently waiting for me to get lunch, so if you’ll excuse me,” Octavia brushes past her brother and opens the door to his apartment. She takes a second to glance back and before she can regret it, blurts out,  
  
“Even if she wasn’t just a friend, I don’t need your approval.”  
  
With that she shuts the door and hurries down the stairs in case her brother decides to follow. It wouldn’t surprise her. She is surprised to feel a few tears streak down her cheeks, because right now she mostly just feels anger. She only has to wait a couple minutes until Raven and Clarke come walking up, looking light and laughing. Raven waves her down with a grin, but as they get closer her face turns to one of concern.  
  
“Woah, everything okay, O?” Raven puts a hand on the small of her back and Octavia nods with an unconvincing smile.  
  
“Yeah right. That is not the Octavia smile, I know,” Raven shakes her head and Clarke rubs her arm comfortingly.  
  
“Bell and I just fought. It was dumb, let’s forget it,” their younger friend explains and gives them a pleading look.  
  
“For now. What do you want for lunch? Your pick,” Clarke smiles and Octavia nods gratefully.  
  
“Know any good pizza places?” She asks the two college students. Raven and Clarke share a knowing look between them before Raven speaks up,  
  
“You’re talking to a couple of college students. Of course we know a good pizza place. Come on,” Raven links an arm through her slowly brightening friend and the trio makes their way down the street. Octavia knows she leans into Raven’s touch more than she should, but the older brunette keeps giving her this beaming smile and puts even more effort into her ridiculous puns, much to Clarke’s dismay.  
  
As the lunch goes on, Octavia's mood improves greatly. The group shares a margherita pizza and Raven pressures O into getting gelato at the end. She ends up eating half of it too, but the younger girl is happy to share. Eventually Clarke gets a text that makes her face light up and she excuses herself from their outing. Octavia looks at Raven with raised eyebrows and receives a shrug,  
  
"She's got a girlfriend. Well she won't call her that, but they're definitely dating."  
  
"Oh. Good for her. What about you? Got your eye on anyone?" Octavia asks with a strained smile that doesn't convince Raven.  
  
"No... You know that," she shakes her head with a confused expression. Octavia smiles again and shrugs, offering the last spoonful of gelato to her friend. Raven opens her mouth and O feeds her the last bite with a roll of her eyes,  
  
“So spoiled.”  
  
“You love it,” Raven smirks and takes the cup to toss in the trash. They start the walk back to Bellamy’s apartment and Octavia’s smile visibly drops when the building comes into view.  
  
“Hey, I didn’t push it earlier, but are you okay? What exactly happened between you two?” Raven’s expression softens and she puts a hand on the brunette’s arm to stop her from walking.  
  
“I just feel awkward venting to you, because well. It was kind of about you?” O fiddles with her fingers and glues her eyes to the ground.  
  
“Me? Did I do something, O? You can tell me,” Raven moves her hand farther up Octavia’s arm to grip her bicep. She sees the internal struggle going on behind Octavia’s eyes and she just wants to know how to help. Especially, if it’s about her.  
  
“Nothing! You did nothing. You’re great, Raven,” Octavia smiles and tucks a piece of loose hair behind Raven’s ear, “Bellamy just doesn’t like it, because you’re his age. He thinks I’m a baby and doesn’t understand that we’re not that far apart in age. At least, I think that’s his problem with you.”  
  
Raven steps back a little and her eyes look stormy. Octavia has never seen her look like this before and doesn’t know what to make of it when Raven’s jaw clenches before she speaks,  
  
“I’m going to talk to him.” It’s a statement not a question, but that doesn’t stop Octavia from fighting it.  
  
“Whoa whoa. You probably shouldn’t,” she steps into the mechanic’s path.  
  
“If Bellamy has a problem with me, he should tell me and not take it out on you. I’m talking to him about,” Raven raises her eyebrows at the girl blocking her path. Octavia considers it for a moment before sighing and typing in the gate code.  
  
“Well come on, then.”  
  
The two take the elevator up in silence, Raven fuming and Octavia nervous. Once they reach his apartment door, Octavia stops Raven a final time,  
  
“Look, I’m on your side. Obviously. But if you could possibly end this on semi-good terms, that would really help.” The pleading look on her friend’s face dims the flame in Raven’s eyes. She has to be careful, because there’s no way she’s risking this friendship. Octavia has grown to be too large a part of her life to screw up now.  
  
“I’m not going to go in there screaming. I’ll be civil, I promise,” She holds out her pinky and the younger girl links hers to it with a small grin, “Now, Bellamy on the other hand…”  
  
Octavia giggles and nods in agreement, and then turns and unlocks the door. The pair walk in with grins still on their faces and spot Bellamy sitting in an armchair, textbook abandoned besides him.  
  
“Hey, Bell. Heard you were talking shit about me,” Raven raises an eyebrow at the boy as soon as he looks up.  
  
“Fuck, really O?” Bellamy shakes his head and stands with a huff. Raven steps forward in front of his sister and crosses her arms.  
  
“It’s not her fault. I made her tell why she was so obviously upset when we picked her up. Seriously though, what exactly do you have against me?” Raven brings it back to the original topic. Behind her, Octavia moves into the kitchen and grabs a water before leaning onto the counter.  
  
“I don’t care about you, Reyes. I just don’t feel comfortable with my high school sister hanging out with a bunch of older college kids. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.” Bellamy explains with a bite to his words, but Raven isn’t backing down.  
  
“You hang out with seniors all the time. It’s the same age difference. Plus, O is mature for her age,” Raven points out. She’s been sure about that last point for awhile. Probably since the party where Octavia purposefully choose not to drink. Most immature high schoolers wouldn’t have the compassion or self control.  
  
“It’s not the same… And if Octavia really cares this much, why isn’t she speaking up?” Bellamy throws his hands up in O’s direction. She’d just been enjoying the scene, but raises her eyebrows at that.  
  
“Hey! I care. We already fought about this earlier, remember?” Octavia taps her head. She walks out from the kitchen and stands next to Raven, putting a hand on her shoulder. Bellamy eyes the hand before spitting out,  
  
“Is this dumb crush really that big a deal?”  
  
Octavia lunges forward and gets into Bellamy’s face,  
  
“Fuck you, Bellamy.” She growls and stares at him menacingly until she feels two hands gently pulling her back. She allows herself to be tugged away by Raven, but doesn’t disguise the disgust in her eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry, O. That was low; I didn’t mean that.” Her brother palms the back of his neck and stares at the ground in remorse.  
  
“Hey, let’s go,” Raven leads her back towards the door. She throws a look at Bellamy that says ‘You better fix this.” and then ushers her younger friend out.  
  
“He was just being an ass. I don’t… I mean I’m not…” Octavia runs her hand through her hair and Raven just smiles gently.  
  
“Of course. We’re good, O. Do you want to go to my place and watch a movie?”  
  
Octavia nods, but still can’t meet Raven’s eyes. The walk there is quieter than usual. Octavia never expected her brother to blurt that out. He didn’t even know, unless she was more obvious than she thought. If he knows, does Raven know? Fuck, she never should have let this happen.  
  
Raven is just trying to process everything. She figures it was just a typical Bellamy dig. Didn’t mean anything. But if it did, would she mind? It had become harder and harder to justify the ‘just’ she keeps in front of Octavia’s name. Octavia’s reaction to his words doesn’t really encourage its disappearance though. Everything got so messed up and now Raven’s mind is spinning with every possibility. Looking over at the quiet Octavia, Raven decides to put everything on hold for now. Tonight would be about her friend.  
  
Friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've obviously closed the age gap between Octavia and Bellamy slightly, but it is AU anyways.


	4. To the ends of the Earth would you follow me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's call this chapter 4.1 because this beach trip just turned out way longer than expected.

“Please remind me, who made the decision to leave at four thirty in the morning?” Octavia groans as she stuffs her bag into the back of Jasper’s van. Clarke repositions the bag and sighs,  
“We all agreed that in order to maximize our five days, we should get there before lunch.”  
  
The crew, including Clarke, Lexa, Jasper, Monty, Raven, and Octavia, have been planning their big summer beach road trip since April, and with finals finally over, and Octavia officially a graduated senior, the day was here. They had invited Bellamy, but he declined after landing a summer internship and, according to Octavia, meeting a new girl. It was just over six hours non-stop to Hatteras Island where the Griffin’s were letting them use their beach house. It’s the first time Clarke’s mom has ever allowed her to take friends without supervision, so she could be considered happy.  
  
“It’s not like you’re not just going to sleep the whole way anyway,” Raven points out as she climbs into the back.  
  
“Of course, I am,” Octavia yawns and sprawls out on top Raven’s lap, so she takes up the whole row. The older girl pushes her off halfheartedly until it’s only O’s head resting in her lap. Octavia gives her a pouty face from there and Raven caves,  
  
“You have to put on a seat belt, though.”  
  
“Fine,” Octavia rolls her eyes and grabs the middle belt to lock around her waist, before laying back down and closing her eyes.  
  
“We haven’t even left yet,” Clarke snorts when she climbs into the row in front of them, Lexa in tow.  
  
“Have I not mentioned that it’s four thirty in the morning, yet?” Octavia grumbles, but a content smile graces her face as soon as Raven starts running her fingers through her hair.  
  
“Just go to sleep, grumpy,” Raven says and feels her best friend sink farther into her lap as she relaxes. A sleeping Octavia beats out a sleep deprived one, any day.  
  
“Alright! Who’s ready to get this party started?” Jasper hops into the driver’s seat with a whoop, drawing a groan from the rest of the friends.  
  
“I know you drank five-hour energy already, but please. I’m begging you for two hours of quiet,” Clarke leans across the front console to address their driver directly.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay awake with you,” Monty offers from shotgun. With that promise, Clarke falls back and looks at her quiet girlfriend with a smile. Lexa blushes like the dork she is when Clarke pecks her cheek and rests her head on her shoulder to fall asleep.  
  
Raven’s pretty sure Octavia is fast asleep by the time Jasper pulls out of the driveway, but she keeps running her fingers through the sleeping girl’s hair and lets the repetitive motion put her to sleep too.  
  
It’s three hours later when the van pulls to a halting stop, jostling the backseat awake.  
  
“What the fuck, Jasper?” Octavia exclaims as she stops herself from falling onto the floor of the van. Raven grabs her waist and helps hoist her up, but Octavia would be waiting for her answer since Jasper is already out the door.  
  
“He really had to pee and this was the first place in miles...” Monty explains as the girls all shake themselves out of sleep.  
  
“It’s already 8? I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep,” Lexa rolls her shoulders and holds back a yawn.  
  
“Everyone was asleep within an hour, except Jasper and I,” Monty shrugs and pops a handful of nuts into his mouth. There’s a pile of snacks at his feet, and Clarke motions for him to toss her a Cliff bar. As she unwraps her breakfast, Raven eyes the gas station out the window,  
  
“You think we can get coffee?”  
  
“I am not drinking coffee from this place,” O shakes her head and looks at the place with skepticism. Raven does agree, but she could really use some coffee.  
  
“Monty, look up a McDonald’s or better yet a Starbucks. They have those everywhere,” Raven calls to the front and Monty sends her a thumbs up. By the time Jasper gets back to the van, they have a plan to drive to Hampton for a coffee and breakfast break. With everyone awake now, the van gets noisy with music and talking.  
  
When No Diggity comes on the playlist that Clarke made, Octavia immediately pops up,  
  
“Turn that up, Monty!”  
  
Everyone looks at her strangely as she nods along until Dr. Dre’s verse comes in and suddenly it’s Octavia’s voice that takes over,  
“It's going down fade to Blackstreet, the homeys got Abby collab creations, funk like acne, no doubt I put it down never slouch, as long as my credit could vouch…” Raven looks on in awe as the youngest member of their friend groups goes down and aces every beat of the verse. Every word she raps makes her even hotter than before, and Raven didn’t really know that was possible. When she finishes with a proud smile and looks at the shocked faces in front of her, she shrugs.  
  
“I’m basically Beca Mitchell.”  
  
“What the fuck, Blake. Where have you been hiding that talent?” Clarke reaches back to punch her shoulder and Monty and Jasper voice their agreement in the front. Raven wants to say something, but she doesn’t really trust her mouth not to spew something inappropriate, so she opts for shaking her head and leaning back in silent awe.  
  
“It’s a good song,” O laughs and they have to agree.  
  
“I can teach you some time, if you think you can handle it, Reyes,” she smirks at her best friend, who’s yet to say anything, “I’m taking your silence as jealousy.  
  
“Oh, fuck off, Blake. That wasn’t even that impressive,” Raven snaps out of her state in order to return Octavia’s sass.  
  
“We’re here!” Monty calls back and as soon as Jasper parks, they’re all scrambling out to stretch their legs. The diner is small, but there’re lots of locals, which is always a good sign, and the friends manage to squeeze into a booth. The food is amazing and the coffee strong, so Raven isn't about to complain, especially when she’s sitting across from a beaming Octavia, who keeps asking for bites of her blueberry pancakes, but refusing to use her own fork because it has egg on it.  
  
“Why didn’t you just get your own pancakes, O?” Raven asks after giving Octavia a fifth bite.  
  
“I didn’t know they would be that delicious,” Octavia explains and gives a look that says ‘duh’.  
  
“This place was a very good choice,” Lexa nods from the edge of the booth. She’s been having a similar problem with Clarke stealing her bacon, but she seems just as happy to share as Raven’s pretending not to be.  
  
When they finish up and pay, it’s back on the road, but with everyone pumped with coffee there’s no sleeping this time. Raven and Octavia race Lexa and Clarke, without warning, to the van in order to claim the second row. Clarke grumbles about it, but Lexa just laughs and pushes her into the back. The time races by and soon Clarke is directing them to her family’s house. They pull up to a yellow beach house right on the water. It’s up on stilts with a wrap around porch and a couple stories. It looks perfect sitting behind the dunes and no one can stop their grins as they unload.  
  
“Okay, there’s four bedrooms. A king bed, that’s mine and Lexa’s, a queen, and two twins,” Clarke explains as they climb up the stairs with their bags.  
  
“We’ll take the queen,” Octavia nudges Raven, who nods in agreement.  
  
“We’ve shared smaller,” she laughs and thinks of their sleepovers spent on an extra twin bed in Clarke’s dorm room.  
  
“That’s fine with me,” Jasper agrees with a shrug. It takes a couple of trips to get all the coolers, food, and beach items up the stairs, but then they’re all ready to go. Raven and Octavia check out their room on the second floor and discover it has a small balcony.  
  
“Raven! Look at how amazing this view is,” Octavia laughs from the railing, the wind blowing her hair around her and the sun glowing on her skin. Raven can’t tear her eyes away from the way Octavia never holds back her happiness, something that’s been happening more and more often lately. She walks up behind O and leans her elbows against the railing and takes in the beach below them. Octavia leans into and attempts to hold back her long hair from obstructing her view. Raven is overcome with the urge to kiss her then, and the thought startles her. Obviously, she knew Octavia was attractive, but she’s also her best friend and this was definitely a new development.  
  
“Why are we just standing here looking at it? Let’s get changed and go,” Raven turns around suddenly and Octavia seems confused for a second before agreeing.  
  
They change quickly and meet their friends out on the porch.  
  
“Everyone needs sunscreen,” Clarke warns them and holds out a bottle of the sticky liquid.  
  
“Thank you, Mom,” Raven rolls her eyes, but takes the bottle anyways and starts rubbing her arms.  
  
“I’ll get your back if you get mine,” O offers and opens her hand for the bottle. Raven gulps and considers it, but can’t think of any reason not to so she hands it over. She shivers when Octavia’s hands glide across her back, but that could be from the cool liquid. And maybe she just imagines the way Octavia’s fingers linger on the curve of her hips, but she definitely doesn’t imagine how her fingers press into her lower spine. Her breath hitches as Octavia pulls away,  
  
“Now do me,” there’s a smirk on O’s face that shows she knows exactly what she’s doing.  
  
“Gladly,” Raven dishes it right back. She moves Octavia’s hair over her shoulder and then sets about covering her already tanned, not to mention toned, back. Once Raven is satisfied with her job, she leans forward and blows lightly on the base of her neck, “drying the sunscreen”. Octavia knows she does it on purpose, but that doesn’t stop her body from leaning back and she has to bite her lip to stop from making some sort of inappropriate noise.  
  
“You good, O?” Raven asks as she passes the sunscreen off the Monty.  
  
“Just peachy. Race you!” Octavia covers her little moment by tagging Raven’s shoulder then racing down the stairs. Raven laughs and follows her childish friend. She knows there’s no way she can catch her, but she also knows Octavia will slow down to let her catch up. They’d been friends for about a month before Octavia mentioned her brace. It was casual, but it also let on that she was curious. Raven was thankful that she didn’t push her to tell about her leg but instead seemed to tell her that she could if she wanted. A month after that Raven finally opened up about the car crash that killed her best friend and left her with a faulty leg. She doesn’t stop there though, she lets out all the past pain of finding out the one person she had left cheated on her. She tells Octavia about how she met Clarke, because she was the unknowing other woman and how Clarke’s mom, Abby, was the doctor who fixed her up after the crash. Octavia sat through every word, holding Raven against her side and squeezing tighter when she felt it was needed. It was a major step in the friendship and the pair grew steadily closer after that.  
  
Just as Raven expected, once Octavia got into the sand she slows down and spins around to grin at Raven. Raven grabs her around the waist and continues running toward the waves. Octavia squeals and struggles, but allows herself to be dragged into the water. It’s colder than either girl expects and both are hopping around to avoid getting splashed.  
  
“Oh shit, this is chilly,” Octavia’s eyes widen as a wave grazes her stomach.  
  
“Come on, we’ll get used to it,” Raven shrugs and starts moving out farther. Her brace is left on the sand because in the water she doesn’t need it. She never loved swimming much until it was the last she felt she could do without help.  
  
Octavia follows timidly and latches onto Raven’s arm. They glance back and see Monty and Jasper splashing in behind them. Clarke and Lexa are lounging on the sand (Clarke doesn’t swim). Once the boys reach them, a splash fight ensues and the four are all yelling and laughing together. No one complains about the temperature of the water, by the end. They stay out in the ocean, floating around until they see Clarke and Lexa setting up a volleyball net. Then the race is on to reach the shore. They play volleyball for awhile until Octavia, Raven and Monty’s team obviously wins and food is mentioned.  
  
As they make their way back to the house, Octavia notices Raven slowing down and slows down beside her,  
  
“You okay, Ray?”  
  
“Yeah, my leg is kinda bugging me… Too much volleyball,” she tries to shrug it off with a small smile, but Octavia stops her.  
  
“Hop on,” Octavia turns around and crouches, offering a piggyback ride to Raven. She accepts after a small pause and jumps on her friend’s back. Octavia straightens back up, hooking her arms under Raven’s legs and starting to walk again. Raven wraps her arms around O and presses a soft kiss to her temple.  
  
“Thanks, O.”  
  
Octavia blushes at this, but there’s no way to hide it so she just hoists Raven up higher and keeps walking.  
  
~~~

“So I’m thinking the campfire can wait till tomorrow. I’m beat,” Clarke yawns and snuggles further into Lexa’s side. They are all sitting outside under the porch light, eating their nutritious meal of grilled cheese, chips, and pineapple.  
  
“Damn, you guys are a bunch of old wimps!” Octavia pipes up when everyone agrees sleepily.  
  
“Octavia, we’re literally one year older than you,” Monty corrects her with a shake of his head.  
  
“Or two,” Lexa points between herself and Raven.  
  
“I don’t mind being old if that means I get to go to bed,” Raven shrugs and stands up, stretching her back till it pops.  
  
“You really need a massage, babe,” Octavia finally stands up with the rest of the group.  
  
“I’ll let you give me one if you come to bed,” Raven winks and revels in the effect it has on Octavia.  
  
“Gross,” Jasper grumbles and throws a crumpled up chip bag at Raven. She sidesteps it easily but looks to O,  
  
“Aren’t you going to defend my honor?”  
  
The younger girl rolls her eyes and bumps Jasper’s shoulder, whispering,  
  
“Next time, hit her.”  
  
Raven scoffs and follows Octavia inside with her hands on her hips. This kind of banter has been becoming more and more normal for them, and it’s hard for their friends to ignore. Clarke has been an advocate for the pair to get together since day one, but her team is slowly growing in numbers as Octavia and Raven spend more time together. She’s still working on Bellamy, especially after that fight, but she thinks he’ll come around if and when they do finally wake up and realize how much they like each other.  
  
“Goodnight, friends!” Clarke calls over her shoulder as she leads Lexa by the hand up the stairs. The friend group completely split off to their respective rooms with similar goodbyes. As soon as Octavia gets into the room, she flops down on the bed with a moan,  
  
“Now who’s not tired. Get up you’ll get sand on the bed,” Raven laughs and tickles the bottom of O’s foot. She flails for a second before following Raven’s lead and walking over to the drawer where she’d stuffed her pajamas.  
  
“I call first shower!” She scampers off quickly without giving Raven a chance to refute. This leaves Raven with some time to sit on the balcony and reflect on the day. It was a really fun start to the trip and she’s really grateful that she has Octavia here with her. She loves all her friends, but with Clarke bringing Lexa and the boys being boys, it’s nice to have someone she can take claim on. It feels kinda odd to think that though… Octavia is in no way hers, but she can’t shake the idea that in this instance, she sure felt like it. Raven is left wondering about this until O taps her shoulder and lets her know the shower is open,  
  
“Took you long enough,” Raven sighs, but honestly it feels like she just sat down. Thinking about Octavia tends to make time slip away from her.  
  
“Please, I’ve taken way longer showers,” Octavia teases with a wink. Similarly, O isn’t quite sure when flirting when Raven became her normal and isn’t entirely convinced it’s only playing. Actually, watching Raven strip off her shirt and reveal her tanned back as she walks toward the bathroom, Octavia knows she’s not playing at all. She’s falling head over heels for her friend and she has no idea what to do about it. Sometimes she feels Raven staring at her or gets a possessive vibe coming from her best friend whenever they go out, but with Raven it’s hard to tell if it means anything.  
  
Octavia is laying on the bed playing with her phone when Raven comes out. She’s in an oversized t-shirt, but noticeably no pants.  
  
“I think I forgot pajama bottoms…” Raven tugs at the shirt sheepishly.  
  
“It’s not like it’s anything I’ve never seen before,” Octavia reassures her with a pat on the bed next to her.  
  
“Lay flat on your stomach,” Octavia instructs.  
  
“Um, why?” Raven responds, but she’s already crawling onto the bed to follow the instruction.  
  
“I’m giving you a massage, duh.”  
  
Raven pauses, but she’s already laying down so she’s committed. She feels Octavia straddle her butt and she folds her arms under her head as a pillow. Octavia bites her lip as she watches Raven’s side profile relax and trust in her. She pushes up the big t-shirt until it’s bunched by her shoulders and begins to press her fingers into Raven’s shoulder blades. Octavia watches her hands as they travel up and down, following the curve of Raven’s spine and leaving a trail of goosebumps.  
  
“Your hands are cold,” Raven breathes out, barely above a whisper.  
  
“Sorry, they’ll warm up,” Octavia apologizes but doesn’t stop moving her hands. She kneads into a spot with a lot of tension and as she feels it dissipate, she hears a soft sigh come from the girl underneath her. The sound almost breaks her resolve, but she moves on to another knot. After about ten minutes, Octavia feels the knots are almost all gone. Fortunately for her since she probably can’t handle any more of Raven’s little sounds. She sinks into the bed beside Raven and positions herself to be eye to eye to the lazily blinking girl next to her.  
  
“Thank you, O.”  
  
“No problem, Ray.”  
  
With a yawn from Raven, they both realize they should get under the covers and go to bed. Octavia feels Raven curl into her side and hopes she can’t feel the way her heart speeds and flutters. This is how they always sleep, so Octavia naturally wraps an arm around Raven.  
  
“Goodnight,” Raven mumbles.  
  
“Sleep tight,” Octavia smiles into the top of Raven’s head.  
  
“Don’t let the bedbugs bite,” Raven responds like clockwork and giggles softly. They fall asleep like that, tangled together and smiles on their faces.


	5. You always leave me wanting more; Owly, you're dear to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm leaving for two weeks with no access to my laptop or wifi and I wanted to leave y'all with something before I go. It's shorter, but I promise to make it up to you when I get back!

The next day starts off around ten when Octavia gets tired of waiting for the boys and wakes them up with a splash. They spend most of the morning on the beach, having fun before the heat caught up to them. After a quick lunch, the group decides to go into town.  
  
“This place is cute, Clarke,” Raven bumps shoulders with her friend as they walk down the streets.  
  
“Yeah! That’s why I loved coming here as a kid and why I wanted to bring you guys,” Clarke shrugs and smiles at her friends.  
  
“Ooh, Raven, let’s go in there!” Octavia tugs at Raven’s shirt and points at the candy shop a few stores ahead.  
  
“Like you need more sugar?” Raven raises an eyebrow but concedes when O pulls open the door and smiles like a kid in, well, a candy shop. When they walk in, the scent of toffee and apples wafts through the store and draws them towards the counters lined with candy. O points out all the different types of chocolate covered fruit and Raven checks out the hand-wrapped caramels.  
  
“I can’t believe I forgot my wallet,” Octavia facepalms as she takes in everything.  
  
“What do you want?” Raven offers and pulls out some cash. The smile on her face is worth a few bucks, especially if Raven knows she put it there.  
  
“You sure?” Octavia asks with a small grin, but Raven just nods. After a few minutes, Octavia has picked out her candy of choice and Raven also snags a few salt water taffies to take back. After she pays and goes to hand the bag over to Octavia, she’s crushed in a familiar hug.  
  
“Thank you!” Octavia smiles into her shoulder and Raven hugs her back with a laugh.  
  
“It’s just a little candy,” she blushes, but the way Octavia looks at her says she’s thinking about way more than just candy. Her eyes are sparkling and she has Raven’s favorite smile on, the one that makes Raven feel like happiness truly can be contagious.  
  
“Alright, dork. Let’s go,” Raven hooks her arm through O’s and they exit the shop. They find their friends waiting outside, also with little bags of sweets. They keep walking into finding a little boutique and Clarke drags Lexa and the girls inside.  
  
“No one said anything about shopping,” Lexa groans as Clarke starts picking out hangers to try on and some for Lexa to try on.  
  
“Come on, Lexa. Everyone loves to shop,” Raven taps her shoulder and follows her best friends into the racks. They all pick out a few things and go back to the dressing rooms to try them all. Lexa mostly just sits outside and smiles whenever Clarke comes out in another outfit,  
  
“Babe, I think you look great in everything. I don’t get why you always ask me.”  
  
“Lexa, if I wanted to date a boy I would have. Instead, I have a girlfriend, so have an opinion.”  
  
Raven and Octavia laugh at the couple from their dressing rooms. After a few unimpressive looks, Octavia puts on a loose fitting sundress. It’s white with tall wildflowers scattered on it and a little flare at the bottom ending above mid thigh. The real showstopper is when she turns around to take in how the low, almost nonexistent, back. She hears Clarke say that she and Lexa were going to check out before she steps out,  
  
“Hurry up, O,” Raven calls, but Octavia sees her smiling as she opens the door. The smile falters as soon as her eyes fall upon Octavia though. She looks amazing. Raven’s mouth doesn’t shut despite the smile being gone and she lets her eyes slide down to the tanned girl’s legs. When her eyes make it back up, Octavia has a smirk on her face that shows she knows just how good she looks.  
  
“What do you think? Should I buy it?” Octavia asks with a playful lilt.  
  
“Yes. I mean, yeah sure,” Raven fumbles over her words trying to sound less enthusiastic about the gorgeous girl standing in front of her.  
  
“Really? I don’t know…” Octavia twirls around on her bare feet and faces the mirror. She makes eye contact with Raven through the mirror and watches as her best friend steps forward,  
  
“Octavia Blake, I know you’re just kidding, but if you don’t buy this dress, I’m going to have to buy it for you.”  
  
Raven doesn’t stop walking forward as she speaks until she right behind O and she can lightly grip her hips. The material is soft under her hands, but she doesn’t notice that as much as she feels the way Octavia presses back into her. As they stand there, neither saying a word, but their eyes still locked, Raven knows she should step away. They both realize this isn’t normal for friends, but as every second passes by it gets harder and harder to look away. Then suddenly they're broken apart by the sound of Clarke calling for them,  
  
“You guys almost done?” She says just before turning the corner to see them. Raven is now a few steps back and Octavia is turning back to her dressing room, but Clarke notices the red on Raven’s cheek and how Octavia fumbles with the handle.  
  
“Did I interrupt something?” Clarke smirks at Raven who shakes her head.  
  
“Nah, I was just coming up actually.”  
  
Clarke saves this moment for future use and lets Raven go around her to the front of the shop. Octavia comes out a few second later with a dress in her hands,  
  
“Are you getting that?” Clarke asks with a smile. O ducks her head slightly as she smiles,  
  
“Yeah, for sure.”  
  
“I bet you look great in it,” Clarke throws an arm over the brunette's’ shoulders and they walk to the front. Raven is already outside the shop, looking pretty sheepish until the two remaining girls exit with large grins and shopping bags in tow. The spend the rest of the afternoon in town and even find a cute diner to eat at for dinner. With full stomachs and empty wallets, they return to the beach house for their postponed bonfire.  
  
“Lexa and Raven will be setting up the fire, Jasper and Monty will gather the food supplies, Octavia is in charge of music, and I will get the beer,” Clarke gives everyone instruction. Jasper complains that he wants to set up the fire, but one look from Lexa has him scurrying up the stairs after Monty. In ten minutes, everyone is settled around the flames that crackle up into the sky with a drink in their hand and a marshmallow on their sticks. It’s laughter and the sunset on the water and everything is summer.  
  
“I’m ready for another beer, anyone else?” Clarke jumps up and walks to the cooler. Lexa and Jasper ask for one, but Monty hasn’t finished and she’s not expecting Raven to drink.  
  
“What about you, O? I promise I won’t tell Bellamy,” Clarke winks at Octavia who laughs but shakes her head.  
  
“I’m done,” She explains.  
  
“Really? I didn’t peg you for a lightweight,” Lexa chuckles with an air of honesty in the statement.  
  
“Oh, I’m not. But if Raven’s not drinking, I don’t drink,” Octavia shrugs and throws an arm around her best friend who was leaning back on the blanket next to her.  
  
“That’s really nice of you,” Monty nods at Octavia and lifts his drink in a cheer of recognition. Raven reaches up to squeeze the hand draped over her shoulder,  
  
“She’s a keeper,” she winks and earns a laugh from O.  
  
“Hell yeah, I am.”  
  
The friends sit around the fire for a couple hours, before deciding to go to bed.  
  
“Man, this place leaves me exhausted at night,” Lexa yawns as they walk up the stairs to the beach house. There’s a nod of agreement and the yawn spreads through the group.  
  
“Goodnight, friends.” Octavia calls and the group splits ways once again for the night.

Their time at the beach house passes way too quickly, and before they know it’s the last night there. The fire roars higher than ever and the laughs grow up with the flames. They sing along to the songs playing in their heads and swap stories from their time here. When the fire finally dwindles and the moon is high in the sky, the friends decide it’s time for bed.  
  
“It’s only two! I could keep going for hours!” Octavia explains through a yawn, but no one listens or believes her.  
  
“Goodnight, O, and Goodluck, Raven.”  
  
“Oh, don’t worry about me. She’ll be asleep before I brush my teeth,” Raven teases her best friend who scowls back.  
  
“Are you implying I don’t know how to pull an all-nighter?”  
  
“No, I’m implying you can’t stay up past three, much less an all-nighter,” Raven shrugs as they enter their room. Octavia huffs, but throws herself onto the bed nonetheless.  
  
“I’m gonna get ready for bed, try and stay awake till I get back,” Raven walks into their bathroom. She washes her face and changes quickly, but when she gets out Octavia isn’t sprawled across the bed anymore. She glances around before noticing the balcony door is open and crossing the room to see her friend leaning against the railing. Raven joins her without a word.  
  
“I’m sad to leave,” Octavia sighs.  
  
“Me too, but it’s only the beginning of summer. We still have plenty of time,” Raven agrees. Octavia shakes her head though.  
  
“I know. But here… It feels like our own little bubble. Reality doesn’t have to exist. Just friends and you,” Octavia explains. Raven has to notice how she’s separated from the rest of their friends. She can’t think of a response, though, so she tilts her head back for her favorite activity, stargazing. Octavia always teases her for having her head in the clouds, but Octavia was made to take this Earth by storm and sometimes Raven just feels like she wasn’t made for it at all.  
  
“Shooting star,” Raven breathes out with a grin and nods toward the blimp of light in the sky. Octavia doesn’t even spare a glance. Her eyes are tracing Raven’s silhouette with so much intensity, Raven feels the way her eyes travel.  
  
“Why do you do that?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Stare at me.” Raven thinks she knows the answer, but she can’t be sure. She asks with her heart pounding in her chest and her head jumbled.  
  
“You’re so beautiful. I like beautiful things,” Octavia breathes out. Raven has known this since Octavia led her in chasing a butterfly across a park. She’d pulled her by hand and Raven had been led easily with a grin. Now, Raven keeps her eyes away from the girl so close to her side.  
  
“Raven,” Octavia murmurs, but Raven doesn’t move at first, “Look at me.” And Raven never could deny O. As soon as their eyes connect, Raven knows the inevitable is finally here. They meet halfway, the way the sky touches the ground. Octavia’s lips are as soft as Raven always imagined in the middle of the night. O brings one hand up to cup Raven’s jaw, her thumb brushing across the cheekbones she’s always admired. When they pull apart, it feels too soon, yet too late as well. Raven doesn’t know when she started crying, but she watches as Octavia wipes away each tear with such gentleness.  
  
“I love you, Octavia,” Raven states, but it sounds sad.  
  
“I love you and that’s why we can’t do this.” Octavia’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion.  
  
“Raven, I don’t understand. I love you too. I-I want this so much,” O’s voice breaks as the tears start to come to her too.  
  
“Every time I love someone, it ends badly. I can’t lose this, O. You mean too much to me, I can’t lose you.” Raven shakes her head, thinking back to Finn, and farther back to her family. Raven knows she was destined to be alone, and she could live with that if Octavia is still her friend.  
  
“You can’t live like that!” Octavia protests, but Raven just smiles a sad smile.  
  
“I have to.”  
  
They sit in silence for a few minutes as Octavia processes everything. Finally, she looks up again.  
  
“I love you, so if this is your answer, that’s okay. We can be friends. But… Maybe tonight, we can pretend like this could be something more,” Octavia runs her hand through Raven’s dark tresses and feels how the older girl leans into the touch.  
  
“Just tonight, Ray. Just be with me,” Octavia whispers and in response Raven leans in again and captures the next words in her mouth. The kisses feel too final and the way they clutch onto each other has a desperate edge, but as they fall into bed together, Octavia thinks that she could live forever in this moment. If tonight is all Raven can give to her, she’s going to take it greedily. She’s not going to leave anything behind.


	6. We dreamt like martyrs, I never thought I was bold enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavy, dirty, and loud.

The summer passes so quickly that Raven has trouble keeping up. One second Octavia is claiming shotgun with red eyes on the ride home and the next time Raven blinks she's helping Octavia unpack her dorm room. They don't talk about that night, it just burns in Raven's memory and aches in Octavia's stomach. They go on acting like it never happened, yet neither can seem to act like they did before it. Octavia is a little more careful about bringing up hot guys and Raven pulls away from hugs a second too early. It's the small things that only a very observant person would notice, so naturally Clarke figures out something happened within a week. She doesn't bring it up, though. Doesn't seem her place. She just notices and feels concern for her two friends.  
  
Raven is grateful for that. There's no doubt in her mind that she'd break down if pressured, break like she does on the nights when Octavia is both too much and too little. So she keeps it inside and dedicates herself to being the best friend O could ask for.  
  
"This is the last box," Raven drops the container next to three similar ones on the floor of O's dorm.  
  
"Careful! I've got precious stuff in that one," Octavia scolds Raven, who scowls down at the box and examines the motorcycle magazines, nunchucks and glowing star stickers.  
  
"O, this stuff is junk," Raven concludes.  
  
"Is not! Research, protection, and the stars are you..." Octavia trails off at the end. This is venturing into the area they've marked uninhabitable. Raven should ignore it, but her curiosity is peaked and some part of her needs to hear it.  
  
"Are me?"  
  
"Well you know, you're always staring at the stars and telling me facts about them. I just thought I could put them up and then it'd be like you were always here," O blushes as she explains. Raven smiles to herself and almost reaches out to pull the freshman into her. She remembers that night though and clears her throat, ending the moment.  
  
"I'm gonna be here all the time anyways, dork," Raven teases and starts to move towards a different box. They spend the day in Octavia’s room, decorating and laughing.  
  
When O’s roommate shows up, Octavia sees the strange glances she gives to the two friends as O wipes her eyes from laughing tears and Raven keeps poking Octavia in the thigh as she speaks. Octavia doesn’t bother to explain, figuring this would be the least weird thing the girl would walk into this year.

\--------------------

The first time Octavia brings Lincoln to one of their friend group dinners, Raven is blindsided. Octavia, who tells her everything, failed to mention the English TA she’d set her eyes on. The only person who comes close to the level of shock is Bellamy, who takes one look at the age difference and makes his decision. Clarke has obviously heard about Lincoln already, judging by how she jumps right into conversation with the man. It takes a few minutes for Octavia to even make eye contact with Raven, and when she does it’s plagued with guilt. She knows she has no reason to feel this way since she and Raven were never officially anything, but she also knows that sometimes officially isn’t the true story. Lincoln doesn’t know anything about this though, so he’s eager to get to know Octavia’s best friend.  
  
“I’ve been really excited to meet you, Raven. I’ve heard a lot of stories about your friendship,” Lincoln starts with a shy smile. He sounds earnest and it just makes it harder for Raven to respond,  
  
“I wish I could say the same, but someone has been pretty secretive about you,” Raven wishes her voice didn’t betray her and keep the joking part of this statement from coming through. But for every slightly too sarcastic response or roll of the eye, Lincoln counters with a genuine question or a laugh. Everyone quickly accepts Lincoln into the group, and Raven tries not to stare as Lincoln kisses Octavia’s cheek. Because it should be her; hell, it could be her if she wasn’t such a goddamn coward.  
Lincoln starts showing up more and more often and Octavia less and less. There are days where Raven doesn’t even see her, and sure there used to be days like that all the time, but that was because of convenience and this is because of choice. Not her choice, either.  
  
A month in, Clarke comes to Raven.  
  
“Hey, Reyes. How ya doing?” Clarke shifts from foot to foot in front of Raven’s couch.  
  
“Spit it out, Clarke,” Raven rolls her eyes and tries to peek behind her to the TV.  
  
“You’re really jealous. And we kinda all know it? Because you’re super obvious. Like, even Lincoln is getting uncomfortable…” This catches Raven’s attention.  
  
“What the fuck are you talking about?”  
  
“Look, Raven. You know I’m your number one supporter, but even I can’t ignore the fact that you are actually smoldering every time Lincoln shows up. Octavia won’t say anything, because it’s Octavia and she can’t imagine hurting you, but I think we need to figure something out, at least for now,” Clarke explains and sits herself at the end of the couch. Raven sputters for a moment before lowering her head,  
  
“I feel like an idiot.”  
  
“You are not an idiot. You’re the smartest person I know. You’re just jealous. It’s a completely natural thing to feel when the person you love is dating someone else,” Clarke defends her friend and Raven doesn’t deny the claim made.  
  
“So what do I do? I want to be happy for Octavia because Lincoln is a great guy, but it’s just so hard,” Raven sighs and runs a hand through her hair.  
  
“I think it just comes down to faking it. I know being your authentic self all the time is your thing, but maybe, for Octavia, you can pretend?” Clarke suggests with a shrug. She hates that she has to give this advice to Raven. She loves her friend and hates seeing her so upset, but the tension in their friend group is getting palpable.  
  
“I can do that. I can try at the very least,” Raven nods and Clarke scoots over to hug her.  
  
\----------------------  
  
She does try. Raven stops glaring at Lincoln and starts asking him questions, and at first it works. Octavia lights up when she sees her boyfriend and best friend getting along, and Raven thinks that it might be worth it just to see that smile. The problem is that once Raven becomes friendly, Lincoln starts inviting her to more things with the couple. Hanging out with all their friends was hard enough, now she gets one on one time with the happy couple and some days she can’t handle it. She tries, though, because Octavia is acting the most normal she has since that night and that means kisses on the cheek and teasing cuteness. Raven lives for these moments, but when the affection is turned towards Lincoln, sometimes her voice has a bite.  
  
“Hey do you want to go to see Arctic Monkeys with Lincoln and I on Thursday? He found some really cheap tickets,” Octavia asks from her end of the couch. Raven’s legs are propped up on her lap and Octavia had been massaging her good leg for her while she studied. Raven likes that band a lot, but spending another night out with Lincoln and Octavia sounds less than desirable. As she tries to think of an excuse it must show on her face because Octavia sighs,  
  
“It was just an invitation. If you don’t want to go just tell me. Although I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to go see one of your favorite bands in concert.”  
  
Raven’s head pops up at the slight anger veiled in Octavia’s voice.  
  
“I didn’t say anything yet, O. Of course, I’ll go with you guys. But you know why I wouldn’t want to,” Raven gives it straight back, “Don’t give me that bullshit,” She mutters at the end. With that, Octavia pushes Raven’s legs off her lap.  
  
“Actually, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me? Why can’t you ever just say what’s on your mind?” Octavia stands up with a huff.  
  
“Octavia, seriously? Sit back down, I said I’d go with you and Lincoln,” Raven rolls her eyes at her younger friend’s dramatics.  
  
“But you don’t really want to.” Octavia states it, there’s no question there for Raven to deny, so she just shrugs,  
  
“To be completely honest, no. I don’t.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Are you actually asking me that?” Raven sits herself up more. Her brace is behind Octavia, otherwise she’d stand as well.  
  
“Yes! Raven, just fucking say something!” Octavia is on the verge of yelling now.  
  
“Because I’m in love with you, Octavia. Are you happy now? Because it fucking kills me every time I have to watch you kiss him. I am trying to be supportive, because that’s what you want, but, no, I don’t really want to,” Raven yells back. Octavia’s eyes are burning into Raven and she knows she shouldn’t have said anything. This was all a mistake.  
  
"You don't get to do this, Raven. You can either love me fully or let me go. Because I'm not going to sit around and wait for you like a love sick puppy. I did that for months, and then in one fucking night you made me the happiest I've been and then broke my heart. But I'm trying. And Lincoln is sweet and smart and soo hot. And I think that with him I could get over you, at least in some ways. But not if you sit around sulking when we're together and then act like nothing's wrong when we're alone. I gave you a chance; I gave you my fucking heart. So, I'm not sorry for trying. You know I love you, Raven, but you've shown me that doesn't mean a damn thing to you." Octavia is mad now. She knows that Raven is jealous, has been since she first introduced Lincoln, but in her mind, she doesn’t get that right.  
  
"No. No, you do not get to say that. Doesn't mean a damn thing? It means everything. You're everything, O. I'm sorry if I don't know how to do this anymore, and I'm sorry if I'm trying to spare you from the black hole of my life, but I'm not sorry for loving you. You don't get to act like this was some dumb decision of mine, because you know that's not true. You're it, Octavia. The last person in my family, the last one who gets to see the jagged and burnt pieces of my heart. And I can't lose anything else. I can't lose you."  
  
"Don't you get it, Ray? You already are." Octavia chokes out after a pause. She turns around, picks up Raven’s brace, and leans down to put it on her friend as Raven sits there dumbstruck. With a final kiss to Raven’s bad knee, Octavia stands up and walks out without a word. 

\-------------------  
  
Things changed after that day. Raven barely saw Octavia anymore and only hears second-hand information about her from Clarke. If seeing Octavia with Lincoln was hard, not seeing Octavia was unbearable. Jasper tried setting her up on a few dates and Monty was always around to play video games or talk, but nothing was the same without Raven’s best friend. She spends a lot of time thinking about how everything went so wrong so quickly. She’d do anything to go back to how things used to be, but some nights she fears she may be too late. The only glimmers of hope come from Clarke,  
  
“She misses you. She asks about you pretty often.”  
  
“Yeah? I miss her too,” Raven shrugs.  
  
“It’s sad, you know? You’ll both admit that to me, but you won’t talk to each other,” Clarke states, but she doesn’t push it.  
  
“I guess so. She knows where I am though,” Raven sighs and turns back to her textbook.  
  
It’s only two weeks after that conversation that Raven walks home from her part time job as a mechanic to an unexpected visitor. She hears someone crying as soon as she opens her apartment door, usually she’d assume it was her roommate, but this crying is coming from the direction of her own bedroom. Raven throws her keys in the dish on the counter and quickly walks down the short hallway and pushes into her room. It’s Octavia, on her bed and clutching her pillow.  
  
“Tavia? What’s going on?” Raven walks around to sit next to the crying girl.  
  
“Raven, I’m sorry I’m crying on your bed,” Octavia chokes through the tears and tries to wipe her eyes. Raven just shushs her and pulls her into a hug. Octavia collapses into her arms and clings to the best friend she’s ever had.  
  
“Hey, you’re okay. Just breathe with me,” Raven begins calming her down. When O finally controls her crying, Raven pulls back enough to look at her.  
  
“Now, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”  
  
“It’s so dumb. I mean, it’s my fault anyways,” Octavia begins to stumble through her explanation, “He was so good to me all the time and I took advantage of him. I really thought I was falling in love though, you know?”  
  
“Lincoln? Babe, you need to tell me what happened,” Raven brushes a hand through O’s hair, detangling it. She can’t imagine what could have happened in their seemingly perfect relationship.  
  
“He broke up with me. And I let him,” O sighs deeply.  
  
“O. I’m so sorry,” Raven says earnestly. Despite her jealousy, all she really wants is for Octavia to be happy and right now, that wasn’t the case.  
  
“But what do you mean let him?” Raven furrows her eyebrows.  
  
“He asked me… He told me he loved me and then he asked me if I’d ever choose him and I couldn’t say yes,” Tears begin to stream down Octavia’s cheeks again. Raven keeps wiping them away, even as she shakes her head.  
  
“O. No. You didn’t, you shouldn’t have,” Raven begins to cry as she realizes what O is saying.  
  
“I know that! I know I’m not supposed to do this, but Raven. I couldn’t lie, it wasn’t fair. This wasn’t for you, okay, it was me. I couldn’t do it anymore,” Octavia interrupts with a spark of anger.  
  
“I get it, Raven. I shouldn’t have, but I did and you can’t undo that. Unless you can go back in time and make it so we never meet, because that was it for me. So, if you’re genius mind somehow made a time machine, then I suggest going back to February 2nd, because it’s the only way this turns out differently.” Octavia can’t help the tears that fall or the fact that even though she’s almost yelling at Raven she still leans into her touch.  
  
They lay there in silence for almost ten minutes, Raven thinking over the past ten months. No part of her denies loving Octavia. It didn’t take her long to figure that out, only slightly longer to realize it was mutual. So what was holding her back? An alcoholic mom? A cheating boyfriend? Octavia wasn’t anything like her old family. Some part of her still blames herself for Finn, the part that will always love him, but the logical part of her knows that none of it was her fault. And the longer she drags this on, the less she believes she even deserves Octavia. Kind Octavia, fierce Octavia, heartstopping Octavia. No, she’s certain she doesn’t deserve the girl nuzzled under her chin, but maybe she could one day. If she tries.  
  
“I’m sorry. I am obviously not a genius. I have this amazing, beautiful woman in front of me, who loves me, and I’m dumb enough to turn away. I’m done turning away, O. I’m here, fully. For whatever this may be. For anything, and I’m so fucking sorry it took me this long. I’m sorry my head doesn’t just follow my heart. So, if you can forgive me, I’ll be here until I deserve your forgiveness,” Raven breaks the silence. As soon as she finishes her mini speech, Octavia is grabbing her face with both her hands and pulling them together. They kiss salty and desperate, but there’s promise in there.  
  
“I love you, Raven. I don’t think I can dive into this yet, but if you’re here, I promise it will happen,” Octavia glances between Raven’s eyes and her lips. Raven pulls the hand still on her face to her lips and kisses the palm gently,  
  
“I’d wait forever for you, O.”


	7. You're all I need to breathe; I'll dive in deeper, deeper for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long hiatus, I present the promised epilogue. Hope it was worth the wait.

One month, one week, and three days. That’s how long it takes Octavia and Raven to officially start dating. Unless you count the whole year before that, which they don’t. Clarke doesn’t understand why they wait so long to put a label on it, but Raven doesn’t care. She knows that she has years and years to be Octavia’s girlfriend, so she can wait a few weeks. Plus, they started making out pretty regularly about a week in, so she wasn’t missing out on much since their friendship before was dating without the physical aspect. It was good to finally call O her girlfriend, though, and she took every opportunity to do so.

“Has anyone seen my girlfriend? I’ve got some good news,” Raven leans over the back of the couch that Monty and Miller were sitting on to ask her friends.

“I think Octavia, our friend, said something about needing to use the printer in the Union,” Clarke rolls her eyes from her spot by the fireplace. The winter months had finally hit hard, and everyone was looking for sources of warmth between their classes.

“Oh, shut up, and let me be happy,” Raven calls back, before turning toward the door to find O.

“Wait, what’s the good news?” Monty asks before she can leave. Raven just smiles and shrugs her shoulders.

“Sorry, Monty. I have to tell Octavia first, or she’d be pissed!”

Raven curses to herself when the wind hits her face and pulls her jacket tighter as she treks over to their student union building. She would have waited for O to get back, but the news really was exciting and she wanted to tell her girlfriend as soon as possible. When she makes it to the printing station, Octavia is stapling together what looks like her research essay that she’d spent the past week on.

“Hey, babe.” Raven bounces up to Octavia with a grin.

“Ray! Hi, look! It’s done,” Octavia leans in to peck her girlfriend on the cheek before proudly showing off her essay.

“Congrats! You worked really hard on it, I’m sure it’s amazing.” Raven applauds her genuinely. She thinks O put the stars in the sky just for her to stare at, so obviously her essays must be perfect too.

“I’m going to take that compliment, even if you’re required to say it by the girlfriend rule book,” the eager freshman laughs and puts her essay safely into her backpack.

“So what’s up? How’d you know I was here?” Octavia finally turns and asks, pulling her girlfriend’s cold hands into her own and rubbing them. Raven can’t help her grin as she takes a deep breath,  
“I got in.”

Octavia’s face immediately lights up and she squeals, pulling Raven into a hug. She doesn’t need further explanation to know that Raven got the internship she’d been gunning for the past two months. It’s three months paid over the summer and an amazing opportunity for the junior to get her foot in the door of aeronautics. 

“I knew you would get it. They’d be dumb not to choose my genius,” Octavia finally releases Raven with a look of pride on her face. Raven blushes with a small laugh, but her announcements weren’t quite over yet. The second part was making her nervous, though.

“Girlfriend rule book…” she mumbles dismissively and tugs on Octavia’s jacket zipper, “There’s one more thing. They’re setting me up in a sweet studio apartment in Seattle and since it fits perfectly in our summer break, I was hoping you’d come with me?” She doesn’t make eye contact the whole second half of her question, obviously anxious. She knows Octavia probably had better plans for the summer that involve hanging out with all their friends, and she would be working thirty hours a week, so Raven understood if Octavia didn’t want to go.

“Well, duh. Do you think I was going to let you move across the country without me?” Octavia breaks through Raven’s thoughts with a cheeky smirk. They stand there for a few seconds, grinning at each other like idiots before Raven has to break the silence,

“God, I love you.”

“Of course, you do. I’m amazing. Plus, I love you too, which is always a bonus,” Octavia flips her hair, but then pulls her girlfriend in again to kiss her soundly.

“Get a room,” a disgruntled voice comes from behind them and they break apart to see Lexa smirking by the printer.

“I have to congratulate my girlfriend, Lexa. You should know a thing or two about that,” Octavia shoots back, confidently. Lexa and Clarke had a bit of a rough patch over the break, but the two couldn’t stay away from each other, and after their reuniting, no one was safe from walking in on them making out.

“Congratulate? What’s up, Raven?” Lexa ignores the comment and asks curiously.

“I got the Origins internship I was hoping for, so Tavia and I are going to be spending this summer in Seattle,” Raven smiles and squeezes Octavia’s hand in excitement of what lies ahead.

“That’s great! You deserve it,” Lexa smiles. She didn’t have that many friends before meeting Clarke, but that doesn’t make her any less of a good one now.   
“I think we’re going to walk back over to activity center where the gang is, you coming?” Raven asks and gestures to the door.

“Sure, I have what I need,” Lexa nods and slings her backpack on. They don’t talk much on the walk back since they all have scarves covering their faces, but Raven and Octavia keep their hands laced together, lodged firmly in O’s pocket.

Once Raven gets to share her news, everyone shares their excitement and support. No one can deny that after everything Raven has had to overcome, she deserves this opportunity.

“So have you talked to Bellamy, yet?” Clarke brings up gently. Her head is leaning on Lexa’s shoulder now, but her eyes still show her seriousness.

“Well, since I just found out ten minutes ago, no,” Octavia rolls her eyes back, but her hands come up in her signature nervous fashion. Raven puts a hand on O’s knee and squeezes reassuringly.

“He’ll be fine with it, O. He knows you can handle yourself now and Bell loves me,” Raven tries to act as confident in this as she can. Honestly, she hadn’t thought much about Octavia’s protective older brother; she was too nervous about what O would say first.

“You’re right. He doesn’t have a say anyways. I’ll be nineteen,” Octavia turns her chin up in what Raven recognizes as her defiant pose. Defiant Octavia is both insanely hot and insanely worrying. She usually brings with her stubborn fights followed by aggressive sex. Raven has a love/hate relationship with this Octavia, but in this instance, she has to agree.

“Well, yes, but it would be nice if Bellamy didn’t hate me for stealing away his little sister. I’ve grown to like the guy and we’re in good standings right now…” Raven cautions gently. There was no way Bellamy could stop Octavia from spending her summer in Seattle with her, but he could make Raven’s life more difficult if he wanted.

“If I get my mom on board with it first, we should be fine,” Octavia shrugs. Aurora, on the other hand, was completely easy to get along with. When Octavia brought Raven home the first time, she was greeted with a hug and a cup of tea. They text each other fairly often now about everything from gifts for Octavia to how Raven’s homework was coming. O actually reminds Raven that she needs to call Aurora after this to tell her about the internship.

“Whatever you say, babe,” Raven kisses Octavia’s cheek affectionately.

“Aren’t you guys going to Bellamy’s tonight for dinner, anyway?” Clarke reminds the pair who nod. Bellamy might not look it, but he can make a mean lasagne.

“Which means we have two hours to talk to Aurora, get ready, and have congratulatory sex. Not necessarily in that order,” Raven smirks and receives a groan from most her friends. Miller just high fives her.

“Guess we better get a move on then,” Octavia replies with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, and Raven knows which one is going to happen first.

 

Octavia watches with a small smirk on her face as Raven gets out of her bed and walks toward the bathroom door. Raven’s tan back on full display for O only and the dimples on her back at the bottom of her spine almost call for the younger girl to trace, but she knows they have to get ready for dinner. 

“I’m going to take a quick shower first, okay, babe?” Raven calls over her shoulder and Octavia just hums in response. They already called Aurora and she only had excitement for the two girls. She trusted Raven to take care of Octavia, even when O grumbled that she didn’t need taking care of.

“It’s not that you need it, Octavia. It’s that she would if you did,” her mom explained gently and Raven blushed, but nodded her agreement.

That is the type of love, Octavia needed. She needs someone who will stay by her side throughout her reckless behavior, only stepping in when necessary. Someone who encourages her to make her own path, but is still interested and gives their opinion. Someone who challenges her without taking away her power. That’s the type of love Octavia needs, and that’s the type of love Raven gives.

“Well, aren’t you going to join me?” Raven peeks her head around the doorframe, breaking Octavia from her thoughts and spurring a laugh.

“Of course, babe,” Octavia wastes no time getting out of bed to join her goddamn sexy girlfriend.

 

“You’re the only person I know who uses greek mythology to insult people,” Raven shakes her head at the story Bellamy just told about Murphy.

“I like to both prove my intelligence and my wit,” Bellamy smirks back, but Octavia can only laugh at her history nerd brother. Their plates are all empty now and Raven looks at O with anxious anticipation.

“So Raven has some good news to share,” Octavia starts and smiles at her girlfriend to go on.

“I got into the Origins internship,” Raven trips over herself with how quickly she spits it out.

“That’s awesome, Raven!” Bellamy leans forward to clap her on the shoulder. Raven smiles briefly before he goes on, “We’ll miss you over the summer, though.”

“About that, Bellamy… I’m going to go with her,” Octavia tries to give the news as gently as possible, but she still sees him stiffen.

“To Seattle?” He asks. So far there’s no yelling, which Raven feels is a good sign.

“Yes. For three months, and then we’ll come back to school,” Octavia nods. Bellamy glances between the two of them with an unreadable expression.

“Oh. I think that sounds nice,” He finally sighs. Octavia’s face lights up at her brother’s reaction. Raven sits still in shock, waiting for the ‘but’ that doesn’t ever come. And while she’s relieved and ecstatic, she doesn’t get it. The Bellamy she knows would put up some kind of fight. She’s not going to mention it yet because currently Octavia is hugging her brother and gushing about how he just has to come visit them. Raven just watches and lets her girl have this moment.

 

“Hey, O?” Raven whispers into the darkness. She feels Octavia shift slightly and then hum against her neck where the younger girl’s lips rest.

“Don’t you think it was weird that Bell didn’t protest at all?” Raven suggests it gently, not wanting to worry her girlfriend, but curious none the less.

Octavia pulls back slightly to lift her head and glances down at the girl underneath her. Raven’s face is just barely lit from the light filtering through the window of her bedroom, but she sees the genuine worry there. It makes her heart both clench and soar. There’s nothing she wants more than for her girlfriend and her brother to become like family since they are hers. But she hates seeing this on Raven’s face.

“Yeah, I did at first. So I asked him about it when you were in the bathroom… You don’t need to worry about it, Ray. He wanted to fight it, but then he remembered how miserable I was last semester during our… difficult time. He realized that I wasn’t going to bend anyway-- that I just loved you too much. He was right, too. I could never be apart from you now that I have you. He knows how happy you make me, and that’s all he really wants. For me to be happy,” Octavia traces the contours of Raven’s jaw as she explains everything to her. She finishes with a small grin that she hopes convey all the love she feels for the person who needs it the most. 

“Oh…” Raven trails off, before leaning up to capture Octavia’s lips in her own. They’ve come so far from kisses full of salt and desperation on a sandy bed. It’s hard for Raven to imagine why she rejected this love when she thinks back. This love that she thought she could live without, but now realizes that would not be living. 

Raven didn’t really do love, but kissing Octavia slow and deeply, she knows there is an exception to every rule.


End file.
